Time for the news the rest of us are waiting for.. Expansion!!! Seattle expansion is upon us!

Please see the link to submit your expansion protection list: https://forms.gle/4dga9yYffM1TYty48

Protection lists must be submitted by Sunday April 6th @ 9PM EST.  Teams face a fine of 2M for not submitting a list. Teams failing to leave an unprotected player as defined by the expansion rules will also be fined 5M. I won’t be accepting this for teams 78+, those teams failing to leave an unprotected player will have a protected player of the commish’s choosing left exposed. 

The FA pages has been updated and team cash values have been updated. Playoff Bonuses, Non Voting Awards and Agent compensation have been added. If anything is missing please message me before the expansion deadline. Only if a have a prior confirmation of signing will I be updating missing contracts. As a reminder there will be no rerates this offseason.

Offseason activities will include

1)Expansion Protection List submission

2)Expansion Team Pre FA Period

3)Expansion team picks

4)2024 CEHL Draft

4)Free agency

NON VOTING AWARDS

Molson Cup ($1.5 mil): G SAROS (DAL) 99 Star Points

Jennings Trophy ($1.5 mil): G Georgiev/Lankinen(CHI)

Bob Probert Golden Glove ($1 mil): C Mason Shaw (COL)

Art Ross Trophy ($2.5 mil): Brayden Point (92 PTS) (WAS)

Presidents Trophy ($2 mil): Carolina

‘Bert’ Cup  ($1 mil): Ryan Williams (VAN)

Rocket Richard Trophy ($2 mil): Kyle Connor/Auston Matthews (PHI/TOR 1M EACH)

Farm League Champions ($1 mil): Lavalle (MTL) 108 PTS

Conn Smythe Trophy ($2.5 mil): Connor Hellebuyck (ANA)

Farm League High Scorer (1M) ESPERANCE/PITLICK/ZETTERLUND (WAS/WAS/BUF 666k WAS / 333 BUF

In what might be the most thrilling conclusion in Smitty Cup history, long-time CEHL villain Dan Rudd staged an extraordinary comeback from a 3-0 series deficit to triumphantly secure his fourth Smitty Cup title.

Speculation quickly swirled that Dan might face expulsion from the CEHL in retaliation to U.S. tariffs. However, the CEHL (DEI) team intervened just in time, determining that maintaining an American presence was essential to achieving the league's diversity goals.

Congratulations to Dan and Mark for delivering an unforgettable finale that will be remembered for generations to come.

Oilers Reload: Trade Deadline Moves Shows Edmonton Means Business.

The Edmonton Oilers started their trade deadline plans early by adding Patrick Kane, Ryan O’Reilly and Igor Shesterkin a number of weeks ago. The results of these deals have been mild at best. Thankfully a lot of the West have similarly struggled during this time and the Oilers find themselves fourth in the west, just four points behind the leader.

With just 4 hours remaining to trade, the Oilers decided to make a splash. Five trades were made and the result has changed the face of the entire team.

Out: Mikael Backlund In: Blake Coleman

Backlund was brought in earlier this season and his 80DF rating was seen as a huge boost to the center depth in the lineup. Expecting further trades, it was decided to work with Minnesota and bring back Blake Coleman back to Edmonton. Coleman provides more position flexibility and more physicality while giving up some defensive prowess. Both Minnesota and Edmonton will enjoy fresh two year extensions on the two veterans.

Out: Lukas Reichel, Simon Benoit, Was 2 In: Nick Paul

With looming expansion it was discovered that Lukas Reichel was not exempt and would require protection, for a team with contention in mind it is hard to use a protection slot on a 72ov even if he has a bright future. Benoit will be missed as he has been a warrior on the third pair. Coming from Florida to Edmonton is Nick Paul, a physical top 6 forward that also boasts positional flexibility. One would expect him to find a second line wing position beside Ryan O’Reilly and Oliver Bjorkstrand.

Out: TJ Brodie In ‘25 3rd and ‘25 4th

Basically a reversal of an earlier trade between Toronto and Edmonton that both sides seen no benifit from.

Out: Ridley Greig, Eduard Sale, ‘24 1st, ‘25 2nd In: Mikael Granlund and Neal Pionk

This trade has been weeks coming together. LA drove a hard bargain and Edmonton risked a lot more than they hoped to. Greig is another expansion eligible young forward that wasn’t quite ready to step into a large role with the Oilers. Sale is one of the Oilers brightest and most recent draft picks. The first and second, while late in the rounds, are losses to the team on draft day. Coming back from LA are two players who are expected to make impacts. Granlund, again position flexibility, is a strong two way player that will get tried on the top line wing. Pionk will immediately become the teams top blue liner and PP QB. 

Out: Patrick Kane, Colton Sissons, $2m and a ‘24 4th In: Nazem Kadri and John Marino

Patrick Kane has not enjoyed playing in the North and decided he would like to move to a warmer and more familiar climate. Anaheim had just picked up Kadri and some short negotiations found this trade. Kadri will center Wyatt Johnston and Granlund on the top line and Marino will likely find a spot on the third pair replacing Benoit.

The Oilers had numerous discussions with several GMs and the Management would like to thank them all for great talks, wether fruitful or not. The team feels it is ready to make a big push in the playoffs and are excited to see the results.

We have reached the trade deadline! I know expansion hampers things but lets gets some trades going! Final deadline will be Feb 13th and 9PM. All trades and UFA extension negotiations must be complete by then. As a reminder, the cap is now at 54M (from 53) for the rest of the season.

Leafs Shake up their roster

The Toronto Maple Leafs have finally entered the CEHL playoff race but GM Kostovski is not happy with just a playoff appearance. HE WANTS THE REPEAT. The first ever CEHL repeat. 

GM Kostovski was busy wheeling and dealing Thursday night into Friday. The leafs have sent long time Leaf Tom Wilson packing to Arizona and all around good guy TJ Brodie to the Andy Bradley led Oilers. 

Coming to Leaf land is new 2nd line C Tomas Hertl, Cole Smith and picks.

Rumors swirling around the CEHL suggest GM Kostovski was not done with Hertl and Cole Smith. Rumblings are getting louder that a former star LW is making his way back to the Leafs.

Time to get your claim game in order! The window will open Tuesday Jan 1st at 9:00PM and will be open for 72 hours. The window will close Will close Jan 4th at 9PM EST.

You can submit up to 5 players max in the "My Offers" section of "My CEHL" on the site under the Player claim section by pressing the request claim button.

As a reminder. The Max offer per player will be 4M, and you can only have ONE 4M offer during the initial claim window, so choose wisely. Any subsequent 4M offers will be discarded. In the event of a tie a winner will be chosen at random.

Player Criteria: players 22 years of age and over, not on ANY CEHL team, unassigned. There is no list for this, but to verify if a player exists in CEHL, use the player search on the site and set the type filter to All Types to make it include prospects. This will include rosters, unassigned and prospect lists which should cover all possible places in CEHL. Just remember guys get dropped and missed all the time, so up your claim game and get in on the action.

The League's 9-5 Triumph of the ages.

In a game that played out like most thought it would. The League skated to a 9-5 victory over Toronto, leaving fans and fantasy owners both cheering and scratching their heads. Here’s a deeper dive into the antics, performance highlights, and fantasy payouts that had everyone talking… including our very own AI bot we've nicknamed ryan #3 that created this great recap of the game.

Period 1: The Opening Act

The game kicked off with Toronto's Steven "S.O.S." Stamkos scoring not once, but twice in quick succession (3:07 and 13:08), as if declaring, "I'm here to save the day!" Both goals were expertly set up by Jake "Mr. Assist" Guentzel and Jake "The Glue" McCabe, who played their roles perfectly. But The League wasn't about to let the plot be stolen. Erik "The Bearded Wonder" Karlsson answered back at 11:21, assisted by Brayden "Swiss Army" Point and Kirill "The Wizard" Kaprizov. Kristopher "Cool Hand" Letang tied it up at 13:44, thanks to more wizardry from Kaprizov and William "Two-for-One" Nylander. Quinn "The Quiet Storm" Hughes added to the score at 14:44 with an assist from Artemi "The Artist" Panarin, while Point's power play goal at 18:45, assisted by Kaprizov, closed the period with The League in the lead.

Period 2: The Plot Thickens

Chandler "The Opportunist" Stephenson extended The League's lead at 7:36, with Vladimir "The Tsar" Tarasenko and Victor "Viking Warrior" Hedman making the perfect setup. Nylander then struck again at 16:19, with his trusty sidekicks Kaprizov and Point, making it clear that The League was not just leading but putting on a show.

Period 3: The Grand Finale

The final act started with a bang as Hedman scored just 67 seconds into the period, assisted by Panarin and Nikita "The Silent Assassin" Kucherov. Nylander continued his heroics at 8:05, with another assist from Point and Kaprizov, cementing their status as a dynamic trio. Toronto's Patrik "The Enigma" Nemeth finally broke through at 10:47, but The League's Karlsson responded at 15:00, with help from Panarin and Nathan "The Flash" MacKinnon. The game wrapped up with Carter "The Rocket" Verhaeghe scoring twice (17:21 and 19:08), but it was too little, too late.

Penalty Box Shenanigans:

The game wasn't without its roughhousing, with Nick Suzuki and Jesper Fast exchanging penalties for roughing in the first period. The third period saw a flurry of penalties, with MacKinnon, Suzuki, and Letang all taking turns in the sin bin, adding a bit of drama to the comedy.

Between the Pipes:

Ilya Sorokin stood tall for The League, making 23 saves out of 28 shots, while Toronto's goaltending duo, Elvis Merzlikins and Tristan Jarry, struggled to keep The League's offensive onslaught at bay. Jarry took the loss, with 10 saves out of 15 shots.

The League's Stars: Putting on an Icecapade:

• Kirill "The Magician" Kaprizov pulled off 5 assists, weaving through Toronto's defense like a needle through a haystack. With his wizard-like vision, he was practically casting spells on the ice.
• Brayden "The Point Maker" Point was the epitome of versatility, tallying 1 goal and 3 assists. His performance was like watching a Swiss Army knife in action, doing a little bit of everything with flair.
• William "The Sniper" Nylander was in top form, netting 2 goals and an assist. He was the sharpshooter who could hit a puck-sized target from a mile away—blindfolded.
• Erik "The Beard" Karlsson was the team's defensive powerhouse and scoring machine, blasting in 2 goals. His beard, it seems, may be the source of his hockey superpowers.
• Victor "The Giant" Hedman was a dual threat, contributing 1 goal and 1 assist, proving that he can both defend and attack like a Norse god.

Toronto's Brave But Battered:

• Steven "The Stammer" Stamkos struck twice, trying to rally his team like a captain steering a ship through stormy seas. His efforts were valiant, though the seas proved too rough.
• Carter "The Rocket" Verhaeghe matched Stamkos with 2 goals, making his mark on the scoreline, albeit in a game that felt like a losing battle.
• Jake "The Assist King" McCabe was Toronto's glue, providing 3 assists. He was the duct tape trying to hold the team together amidst the chaos.

Fantasy Team Scorecards:

• Minnesota: Kaprizov (5A), Zuccarello (0), Nylander (2G, 1A), Karlsson (2G), Letang (1G)
  • Total Points: 11
  • Payout: $2,750,000
• Carolina: Panarin (3A)
  • Total Points: 3
  • Payout: $750,000
• Washington: MacKinnon (1A), Point (1G, 3A), Kucherov (1A)
  • Total Points: 6
  • Payout: $1,500,000
• Philly: Stephenson (1G), Hedman (1G, 1A)
  • Total Points: 4
  • Payout: $1,000,000
• San Jose: Tarasenko (1A)
  • Total Points: 1
  • Payout: $250,000
• Toronto
  • 100k per goal
  • 500k payout

The game was a whirlwind of excitement, with The League's players not only outscoring their opponents but also cashing in big for their owners. Unfortunately Jake won most of it which sent the league and its investigators into a frenzy as to how he even got 5 all stars in the first place. I would like to assure everyone that next time this will be more thought out…. of course, that would be a lie. Until next time my minions!

Please see the boxscore for details: https://www.canadianelitehockeyleague.ca/games.php?override=allstar35

Welcome to the midseason break! This time of year brings exciting events like the All-Star Game, the chance to make claims, and the relief that your challenging season is halfway over. And, of course, more claims.

I'll provide an official date soon for when we will open claims, potentially on Boxing Day, and this period will last three days to accommodate the holidays.

With that said, we're trying something new for the All-Star Game. Let's travel back to 1968, a time when all was well for the Leafs, fresh off a Stanley Cup win. The All-Star Game format was thrilling, featuring the Toronto Maple Leafs taking on the NHL All-Stars.

Without further ado, I present to you the CEHL Season 35 All-Star Game, featuring the Toronto Maple Leafs vs. THE LEAGUE!

This game will showcase the top 16 forwards, the top 8 defensemen, and the top 2 goalies from across the league.

Players are selected based on points, while goalies are chosen based on the best GAA/SVPCT combination with a minimum of 25 games played.

We will also have a little fun with this:

· If the Toronto Maple Leafs, led by the slightly "evil" Mark, win the All-Star Game, Mark will receive a prize of $2 million.

· If the League All-Stars win, every General Manager (GM) in the league, regardless of whether they have players participating in the game or not, will receive $500,000.

· Additionally, for every goal and assist scored during the game, $250,000 will be awarded to the team that owns the player who achieves the goal or assist.

Here is your Season 35 League All-Star team lineup, showcasing the top talent from across the league:

Forwards:

1. Artemi Panarin (Carolina) - LW: 42 GP, 19 G, 30 A, 49 P

2. Kirill Kaprizov (Minnesota) - LW: 41 GP, 18 G, 26 A, 44 P

3. Mats Zuccarello (Minnesota) - LW: 41 GP, 13 G, 27 A, 40 P

4. Jack Hughes (Phoenix) - LW: 40 GP, 19 G, 20 A, 39 P

5. Oliver Bjorkstrand (Edmonton) - LW: 42 GP, 15 G, 24 A, 39 P

6. Nathan MacKinnon (Washington) - C: 41 GP, 23 G, 25 A, 48 P

7. Nick Suzuki (Pittsburgh) - C: 41 GP, 17 G, 31 A, 48 P

8. Brayden Point (Washington) - C: 41 GP, 20 G, 27 A, 47 P

9. Chandler Stephenson (Philly) - C: 42 GP, 16 G, 28 A, 44 P

10. Dylan Strome (Nashville) - C: 42 GP, 21 G, 23 A, 44 P

11. William Nylander (Minnesota) - RW: 41 GP, 22 G, 26 A, 48 P

12. Drake Batherson (Tampa Bay) - RW: 41 GP, 13 G, 31 A, 44 P

13. Vladimir Tarasenko (San Jose) - RW: 41 GP, 18 G, 23 A, 41 P

14. Nikita Kucherov (Washington) - RW: 41 GP, 15 G, 25 A, 40 P

15. Matias Maccelli (Dallas) - RW: 41 GP, 10 G, 29 A, 39 P

Defensemen:

1. Erik Karlsson (Minnesota) - D: 41 GP, 10 G, 33 A, 43 P

2. Josh Morrissey (New Jersey) - D: 42 GP, 4 G, 33 A, 37 P

3. Quinn Hughes (Detroit) - D: 41 GP, 7 G, 30 A, 37 P

4. Kristopher Letang (Minnesota) - D: 41 GP, 10 G, 26 A, 36 P

5. Tyson Barrie (Islanders) - D: 41 GP, 8 G, 27 A, 35 P

6. Morgan Rielly (Phoenix) - D: 42 GP, 7 G, 27 A, 34 P

7. Victor Hedman (Philly) - D: 41 GP, 6 G, 26 A, 32 P

8. Brady Skjei (Tampa Bay) - D: 41 GP, 8 G, 23 A, 31 P

Goalies:

1. Ilya Sorokin (Carolina) - G: 35 GP

2. Alexander Georgiev (Chicago) - G: 34 GP

The Fence of the D

Since taking over the top spot in Ottawa, GM Anthony Curatolo has made some, well, interesting moves to create a roster of his liking. Some of them have been disliked by pundits from around the league. Some stating that the GM has been “raped” by his fellow GMs of who he has made deals with. 

However, the GM feels otherwise. 

“There is a price to pay to get what you want. That price can be hefty at times, but when the bigger picture is there, we see no reason to not make it work” he stated. 

This all started with the thought that the team would go into rebuild mode. Having a cupboard that is truly bare, and lack of anything to fix that, the GM made his first big move when he took over by trading out stud defenseman Victor Hedman to the Flyers in return for young, promising defenseman Jamie Drysdale along with a couple of draft picks. One of those picks were Philadelphia's 2025 1st round selection. 

“With all that we inherited, we initially were trying to focus on a good draft year to start things off with re-stocking the system. When we were presented the offer for Victor (Hedman), we realized that the year to start putting future pieces into place would be with the 2025 draft class.”

Then, there were developments that the Senators may be involved in a pretty big deal prior to the end of Season 33. And indeed it was. Ottawa acquired goaltender Jeremey Swayman from the Rangers. 

“Yes, when we found out that Sway was available, we jumped at the potential of acquiring him. This was a foundation builder, and we had to do what we had to do to get him.”

It was an offer of quantity, as the GM shipped out a slew of draft picks along with a couple of prospects to get the, then 23-year-old, out of New York. 

“Pieces of the puzzle. What initially was thought to be an attempt at a rebuild has turned more into a re-tooling here in Ottawa. And to be honest, I couldn't be happier.”

And with that, it seems that the GM is building from the crease outward. 

Since the Swayman acquisition, Jonas Siegenthaler, Sean Walker and just last night, JJ Moser were all acquired by the GM to add to a blueline that already has youngster Nicolas Hauge there, along with the aforementioned Drysdale.  

“Defense wins hockey games” the GM stated. 

And the Senators have been on a hot streak, having won their last 3 games. They expect the addition of Moser to help boost the defensive play and keep the shot production from the opposition down. 

And not to mention, current league leader in GAA and SV% Jordan Binnington has been a standout performer for the team. 

“When you have a goalie tandem like we do, the goal has been and always will be getting into the dance (playoffs) and seeing what can happen from there. Right now, Jordan is helping pave that path. His resurgence, after spending too much time in the minors in recent years, has really been quite the benefit to our organization.”

Ottawa currently holds down a solid playoff seed, and can only hope to climb the ladder from where they currently are. 

Sure, there is a lot of season left. If Binnington continues to play at the rate he's been playing, and Swayman can live up to his potential, there could be a lot of noise made out of Ottawa come playoff time. 

“We aren't preparing the parade just yet, but we are firing on all cylinders at this time and it's a wonderful thing to be a part of.” 

 

Penis' Don't Suck Themselves!

A guide to trying to make money in a tank division

Don't even bother, you're better off whoring off a midget to a pack of coyotes… or hoping you play the coyotes so you can put some bodies in seats.

Now that's out of the way, we can get to more important matters. The Dallas Stars.

Daddy Whorebucks has been on a tear this season trying to improve on last season's 1 point removal from the playoffs. So far, that goal has been lacking.

To address this obvious mistake by the sim gods, Dallas has acquired goaltender Saros from the Edmonton Oilers. Mostly to try and knock them out of playoff contention, and lesser to improve an already bulging crease.

With this trade, the Stars have one last desire to fulfill before the trade deadline, and that is to acquire a top line C or RW.

Keep an eye on your DM's and emails for my inevitable message fishing for your available players.